When I tell people that I run, and in particular that I run long distances they often say, “wow…what do you think about for all that time?” because for me your talking over an hour for 10k, close to 3 hours for a half and just under 6 for a full marathon – and that is a long old time to be on your feet and even longer to keep your mind occupied.
When I first started out running I couldn’t run without music, like seriously if my iPod stopped working then so would I, I’d literally turn around and walk or get the bus home. But you soon realise that it’s not always practical to listen to music whilst running, and many races don’t allow earphones at all so it’s good practice to get used to running without and it’s then that you really have to ask yourself, “yes…what do I think about when I run?”
I can tell you when I run, for at least the first kilometre (even now) I hear myself say, “stop, please stop” and “shit this is hard, why is this still so bleeding hard?” actually scrap that…my thoughts are often a little ruder than that, often including swear words, occasionally those swear words leak out and become real life words, but mainly they remain in my head.
After that first kilometre is out of the way I start thinking about other things; issues that have bothered me, things I want or need to do, how far I’ve come with my running and often what I want to write about next on my blog which can occupy quite a bit of my headspace as I too and fro with ideas about what I want to share with you guys.
At races your thought process is very much tied up in the events of that race. The logistics, counting down the mile markers, where the next water station is, and of course other runners. I also think about the spectators and what they think about me plodding past them all red faced. Are they looking at my FAT arse in disgust or are they thinking “good on you girl”, why I care I don’t know but I do. I think about why I didn’t train more, why I ate cake yesterday, how come other FAT runners are faster than me. I can really let my thoughts affect my game, in fact I can completely sabotage my results with my negative thinking. Its only because I am so bloody minded that I don’t allow the thoughts to completely over power me and lead me to quit all together.
Training runs are even harder, because I don’t have all those distractions I mentioned and the prize of finishing to keep me on track. No, on a training run I can literally talk myself from a long run to a very, very short run in the time it takes me to get to the top of my road. But on todays training run something changed, something changed SIGNIFICANTLY!!!!!
I haven’t been out for a long training run (on my own free will) for well over 18 months since my marathon training back in the spring of 2012, but I was determined to get out there today to test something out. I woke up to the pitter patter of rain on my window which would normally signal a now show, but still I got ready and headed out of the front door for my run. Because today for the first time ever I was going to try running whilst listening to an audiobook.
My friend (and marathon challenge recruit) Mary who I did the Lisbon Rock N Roll half marathon last weekend suggested I gave it a go. She listens to audiobooks and swears by them for long runs. I wasn’t convinced at first as I figured that my own thoughts would drown out the voice of whomever narrating the book. But to be quite honest I had such a bad race in Portugal that I was willing to give anything a go, I mean 13.1 miles of nothing but your own thoughts to keep you company is enough to drive anyone bonkers. I was literally sick of the sound of my own voice…the voice that was flipping between “why the hell am I doing this” and “how much further?” from about the 5k mark onwards.
So last night I downloaded the audiobook version of “what I talk about when I talk about running” a memoir by Haruki Murakami and a very apt book for me at the moment, but not perhaps the light hearted chick lit novel that Mary had suggested. But I have been meaning to read this book for ages after hearing lots of other runners talking about it, I am just too busy to find time to read and run at the moment so this kinda made perfect sense.
I left Rose with her dad, put my windproof jacket on, and left home. The weather was terrible, but i had committed to this run, so I pressed play on my iPhone, start on my Garmin and I headed out into the rain and waited for the voices to start…
nothing…
a minute in…still nothing.
Of course I could hear the voice of the guy reading the book but nothing at all from my negative schizophrenic mess of a mind which normally butts into my running every two minutes.
The topic of the book itself might have had something to do with it, but that is for another post…probably two or three posts actually, as its a real great read, or listening or whatever.
I seriously cannot believe how successful this method was as a distraction from the never ending voices in my head. I didn’t look at my Garmin once to see how far I had run, or how fast. I didn’t contemplate taking a short cut, or walking for a bit, I didn’t have to slow down to let my heart rate slow down, I didn’t stop, not once…I just kept on running through the wind and rain and the dodgy looks from warm and cozy car users. I ran from my flat past the roadworks near the Bow flyover, through the Olympic park and up to and along the Greenway to Victoria Park, I did a full loop of the almost empty park and then came back the way I had come, and it was literally only in the last mile that I thought for a second “ooohhh my legs are starting to feel a little sore”, the only thoughts I had encountered up until this point were ones related to the topics raised in the book.
At my front door I stopped my Garmin and discovered I had run 9.5 kilometres in 1 hour 18 minutes, so ok it wasn’t the fastest or the furthest I have ever run, but I tell you what…it was the most enjoyable long run I’ve ever ran – and the great thing is I’m only just on chapter 3 of the audiobook.
So bring on my next long run.
Gone are the days of expending my energy on negative thoughts or working incredibly hard to block out those negative thoughts with positive affirmations…I think I’ve cracked it. I am going to listen to audiobooks instead and expand my mind whilst I improve my body. Smart or what?