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NRC wk04 Miss plus sized lady runner 220114 03_2

Me…erm Running!! Copyright David Mirzoeff/Archant

A photographer from my local newspaper arrived last week to take some photographs of me in action for a story they wanted to run about my nomination for the UK Blog Awards. So the young trendy chap turns up with all his kit and as we walk round to a suitable location for the pics he says “So you are a plus size model then?” To which I laughed heartedly.

I could never be a model for the following reasons…

  1. I am too self conscious about my body
  2. I don’t like wearing outfits other people have selected for me
  3. I have a weird (uneven) shape
  4. I don’t like myself in photographs

Wow that all sounds so negative.

And its funny because when I look at plus sized models in print or on TV I always think they look great, full of confidence in clothes that fit their well proportioned bodies. I never feel like I look that happy or confident in front of the camera.

When I was younger I did a bit of catwalk modelling for a local modelling agency, we mainly did clubs around London and we were once the entertainment during the judging section of the Miss Commonwealth UK competition, but I had bags of confidence then.

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The Happy Couple

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And another one.

More recently Fabian and I went to get some pictures done to celebrate our engagement. We thought it would be nice to have something to look back on when we are old and wrinkly. It was just before I ran the London Marathon so it was the slimmest I’d been in ages, plus I had the benefit of good lighting, having my hair and make up done and of course a professional photographer.  I enjoyed the experience but I was very critical of the pictures, scrutinising every blemish and fold of skin.

Why do I find it so hard to accept the way I look?

Its funny, because I do actually love clothes though, and I love make up, and accessories and getting my hair done and all that, but since becoming a mum all of this has become less and less of a priority. These days I am lucky if I have on clean clothes and have brushed my hair. But this has to stop as I am turning into a slob.

If I am not in workout gear which is like 70% of the week, then I am in PJs…and occasionally, very occasionally I venture out to visit friends or do a bit of shopping and I generally go for a uniform of jeans and a jumper, and not particularly stylish ones at that.

And lets not talk about the state of my hair at the moment.

So whats my problem

  1. I am broke and can’t afford to go out and buy a new wardrobe or get a new hairdo
  2. I wouldn’t know where to start even if I did, because I am a mum now and desperately need some style advice
  3. My life is kind of in transition, so I am not even sure what kind of clothes I need for my developing life

I have a wardrobe full of clothes ranging from a size 16 to a size 20, clothes I really don’t want to throw out. I have piles of ill-fitting jeans, practical layered clothes for warmth, a whole draw full of bright holiday clothes, maxi dresses etc and then a whole heap of really nice dresses for going out. But the problem is I don’t go out, and on the odd occasion I do it doesn’t feel right to wear a sexy dress.

In the past I used to really look forward to a night out, or a day at the races, or a wedding or, you know any occasion that required a bit of dressing up. I think in life there are far too few opportunities to get dolled up. But that is about to change for me because…

UKBA_Shortlisted-1

Yeah…one of the best health blogs in the UK!!

This blog…The Fat Girls Guide to Running has been shortlisted in the UK Blog Awards. That’s right, from a list of about 50 nominations in the health category, I am now in a final list of 11 blogs that are now being assessed by a panel of judges.

And there is an awards night.

A posh glamorous affair in a central London venue where I will have to appear presentable at least. In my mind I am picturing a red carpet, paparazzi and stepping on stage to rapturous applause to accept my award, but in reality I know the competition is tough so it is unlikely I will win and in fact the event will just be a fun night out and a chance to network.

But either way I want to look good.

Does anyone else have this problem when it comes to being a mum, or overweight, or generally a little unglamorous?? Did your style change. Do you feel a little lost. Where do you go for help? Are there any brands that are a must for you??

I need your help!!!

  1. Your photos are beautiful! Congrats on your nomination 🙂

  2. February 6, 2014

    The photos are lovely but I do know what you mean, even now I hate having my picture taken. There are very few before photos of me from when I was size 20, mostly because I either hid when the cameras came out or destroyed the evidence when that didn’t work. Now I wish I hadn’t because it would have been a good reminder of how far I’ve come.

    Awards events were something I did often when I worked in travel. They usually are very glitzy affairs, lots of champagne and everyone in their very best sparkly dresses. One of the things that helped me when I was losing weight was eBay. You’d be amazed what you can get on there and how cheap it is. I bought and sold four different wardrobes as I went down in size and it hardly cost me anything. I sold the big clothes because I didn’t want them in the house. If they were there I might just end up wearing them again. Monsoon are very good for awards dresses.

    Well done on getting to the finals and good luck on the night. You deserve it 🙂

  3. Julie- you look fab in the pictures! My fingers are crossed for the blog awards. Do you have friends that do hair or do they know anyone that could do you a freebie, maybe for some marketing on your blog/twitter?

    • February 5, 2014

      That’s my plan. Hopefully someone will help with hair and make up, and of course a new frock!!

  4. February 4, 2014

    The photos are gorgeous! But I know exactly what you mean. I had some photos taken for my other half for a wedding present, and I felt uncomfortable for the most part.

    I think if I were in your situation, I would be to go to a make up counter and get them to do my make up on the day. I have had my make up done a couple of times (Benefit and YSL – loved them both, but YSL was probably more natural), and it was so much better than I could do myself. Hair I am completely hopeless with and would need to either go to my hairdressers or a friend who is excellent with hair. For something to wear, Debenhams do a free personal shopper service. I haven’t used it, but it could be worth a go.

    You will look amazing regardless, and, by the way – CONGRATULATIONS on getting so far! 🙂

  5. February 4, 2014

    I read reddit’s female fashion advice subreddit when I am looking for hints on style and whatnot. I spend most of my days in yoga pants. When I do go out to the office or shopping I stick to jeans and a top or a mini from H&M and a top- pretty tame. I don’t go out to parties or social events really, so I wouldn’t know what to wear for something like that. If you know others who are going to an event, I’d ask what they are wearing and then try to model something you like, that makes you feel comfortable that’s along similar lines.

    I know I am going to be presenting at a conference soon and I have no idea what I am going to wear; I can’t afford a suit or anything right now and wouldn’t want to sink a lot of money into something while I am still losing weight. I am hoping that reddit and my twitter friends will be able to help me out!

    Good luck and congrats! I think you look gorgeous, also!

    • February 4, 2014

      Thank you for the advice. It’s stressful isn’t it when you have an occasion fast approaching and nothing to wear!!

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