I can’t stop crying

Ever heard the expression “it will either make you or break you?” Well I can’t quite make up my mind which way this bootcamp might go, as it’s been a day of real highs and lows.

We started off with a blue team early morning run along the promenade we stopped a few times to do some circuits on the beach, and then we went back to those dreaded stairs which we had to run up at 100% effort. We then finished off with a relay run up the zig zags back to the hotel. I worked hard, stayed up front with the instructor so I wouldn’t get told off, and just tried to stay out of trouble. Job done.

After a breakfast of eggs, veggie sausage and beans we made our way to a nearby car park. Hmm what the hell were they gonna get us to do. It soon become apparent we were doing “Ton Up”

Let me explain. A Ton Up consists of

10 x 10 Press Ups
10 x 10 Sit ups
10 x 10 Double Leg Raises (using stomach muscles, legs 6inches from the floor)
10 x 10 Press Ups (with hands in a diamond shape)
10 x 10 Single Leg Raises (bringing arms up to reach toes, shoulders off the floor)
10 x 10 Lunges
10 x 10 Squats
10 x 10 Sit Ups with a twist
10 x 10 Burpees
10 x 10 Bastardos (a burpee with a press up and a star jump)

Each repetition of 10 is followed by a 100 meter shuttle run.

Let me tell you. This was the hardest thing I have ever done in my whole life. Both mentally and physically. I wanted to be able to do all of the exercises correctly and with full energy, but it was so difficult, especially when you consider what we had already put our body through over the last few days. We are tired, our muscles are fatigued and we are generally on the edge. So the last thing any of us needed was two extremely fit guys in camouflage shouting at us and telling us that we are not working hard enough or doing the exercises correctly.

For example. I have never been able to do press ups, I have no upper body strength and I generally just struggle to carry my own body weight. So 100 press ups is no mean feat. I was trying my hardest though, and by about the second set I was really struggling. In my head I was frustrated with myself for not being able to do it, and at the same time pissed off with the instructors for pulling me up about being on my knees, and not having my chest low enough to the floor. And that is when the tears came. I tried to hold them back, but I couldn’t. It wasn’t long before the instructors realised what a mess I was in, and they told me “come on keep it up, your doing really well”, but it was too late, the seed of doubt had been placed in my head. So by the final 10 with most of the group cheering me on I was so upset that I couldn’t breath through the sobs.

The funny thing was, a few minutes later I was fine and was back in the group working hard and pushing myself. I wasn’t the only one to struggle, there were two other girls who broke into tears, and lets just say a few others walked back to the hotel in complete silence, shocked by the trauma of what they had just endured.

There has been a lot of tears today. Some from people who simply couldn’t push their bodies any more, some through injuries they had picked up and a couple who just got a bit overwhelmed by the team effort of the stretcher run we did in the afternoon. The exercise was basically two teams of about 8/9 each with a stretcher loaded with two tyres and two 5k medicine balls, we had to power walk across the sand for about half an hour until we reached Poole, and then back along the promenade. The first team back with all their kit and everyone in their team was the winner. My team came in 2nd but we worked amazingly as a team, pushing and supporting each other and working to our individual strengths. It was a great feeling once we finished and amazing to think that we have only known each other a few days.

Anyway. I’m feeling a bit better now, but bloody hell this has been the most challenging thing I have ever done. Hopefully today marks the end of my tears, but let’s see how I go tomorrow.

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