December 16, 2016
Yep it’s that time of year again, where as well as the accumulating stress of christmas we also have an impending new year getting closer and closer…what are we going to give up, what are we going to do different, what are we going to resolve to achieve before the year is up?
Now you will know from my book New Year, Same You that I am anti New Years Resolutions.
Well in short, I am sick of the “Start Again Monday” culture we have embraced, and the concept of “Transformation” which we have bought into so passionately on social media. Just because a body has changed shape doesn’t mean a person is healthier or happier than they were before…it just means their body is different.
New Year, Same You is not about starting a new diet and fitness regime, and its not about giving up on the idea of health either. Instead it offers an alternative view point on what health is anyway, and proposes that even without a single pound of weight loss you can still become a winner in the war against obesity by living in the hear and now.
But maybe it is just inevitable that as we head towards January 1st and a spanking new year that we do start looking at our goals for the following 12 months.
Don’t get me wrong I am starting to think about my goals for next year, but this is no different to how I goal set all year round. I do my planning in 12 week blocks 4 times a year, and I use a specific system which really helps me to think big and to identify what I truly want out of life.
Early this month in my Countdown to Christmas Challenge I got my ladies to set 5 goals for the remainder of the year.
This task was met with mixed reviews.
Some women were like
“Great, this has really focussed my mind so I can get some stuff done before the new year”
Others were like
“Errrr, this feels like I am setting myself up to fail, there are only 20 days left of the year”
See this is the problem with goal setting is we sometimes think our goals have to massive things…or else even if they are small we get stressed if we don’t achieve them, why do we beat our selves up so much when the whole process is only meant for us anyway?
Look, I see goals simply as a call to the universe for what I want.
Sometimes I achieve them, either through hard work and action, and sometimes with a little serendipitous help or plain old fashioned luck…and sometimes I don’t and that is OK too because I know the time wasn’t right, or perhaps the goal wasn’t and the universe has a different plan for me.
I think one of the other problems I see with the women I work with in my online programmes is they often don’t know what to ask for.
Their goals are often weight related, or about cutting things out of their diet, or its about acquiring nice things for friends or family, instead of themselves. Women do that really annoying thing of putting everyone else’s wishes before their own.
It is OK to want stuff that is just for you you know?
I keep a 100 list most years. A 100 list is a list of things you want to have, be or do….for example,
- Fly a kite
- Attend Glastonbury
- Be considered an international speaker
- Publish my book of short stories
- Go on the London Eye
- Go up to the top of the shard
- Have a weekend to myself in a nice hotel to write
- Drive a Vespa
- Do an open water swim
These are just a few things I haven’t (yes thats right I HAVE NOT) ticked off my list this year. Do I feel like a failure?
Because in the last 12 months I have ticked off….
- Do a stand up comedy gig
- Take part in a 24 hour race
- Receive an all expenses trip somewhere unexpected
- Travel 1st class on a train
- Hire a stylist
- Win an award
These are just some of things I managed to achieve….plus there were all sorts of other exciting things which happened that I could never have planned for.
Goal setting is not supposed to be about setting ourselves up for stress by trying to achieve them. Neither are they supposed to be a yardstick for how successful we are as a person. They are just a guide…a helping hand through life.
For me setting goals is just about admitting what it is you want in your life…it is about aspiring for more of the good stuff, and the opportunity to celebrate when you achieve things which are important to you….no matter how big or small.
In my coaching I use a concept called Big Fat Stupid Goals which is all about reaching for things that initially seem beyond your reach and I have a specific system I use to help women overcome their fears and take action towards achieving their dreams, no matter what the dreams are.
Running a marathon, changing career, writing a book, travelling somewhere exciting…the what isn’t important and neither is the How really, as there is always a way forward…it is the WHY which ultimately drives us though.
So come on ladies don’t get stressed out by the idea of new years resolutions that rely on just your resolve to keep them up. Set yourself some Big Fat Stupid goals instead, and remember to work in 12 week cycles to help keep you on track with achieving them.
Review your goals often, and set new ones again in April, July and October…it is exciting just thinking about the possibilities right?
And please don;t wait until January.
There are a whopping 16 days left of this year…thats plenty of time to make a huge shift, you just need to commit to your goals and set about achieving them…even if that is finishing off a half read book, reconnecting with a long lost friend, or starting a daily yoga practice…this stuff is easy, and you can easily get it done this side of 2017, its just about taking inspired action.
Starting in January I will be working with a small group of ladies in a 12 week online mastermind to help them set and achieve their big fat stupid goals. Places are limited and we currently have an early bird price of just £199 for the 3 month coaching programme.
With accountability partners, live video calls, 121 Skype sessions, engaging tasks and a closed Facebook post to celebrate your wins, I wonder what you can achieve for yourself in just 12 weeks?