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Would you like my seat?

How far along are you my dear?

You are simply blooming!!

When is it due?

These are simply THE worst comments a FAT woman can hear when she’s not actually pregnant.

And I can’t count the number of times it’s been said to me over the years, and every time it hurts just as much as the last.

On Tuesday for example I was buying some bread in Percy Ingles when the shop assistant said

“You are absolutely blooming, pregnancy really suits you”

I was so taken aback I just smiled, grabbed my sliced loaf (low Gi I must add) and headed for the door.

Red faced and embarrassed I walked home very much deflated and thinking about what I should have said in response?

It happened once before when topping up my Oyster card at the tube station and I literally spat back “I’m not pregnant I’m just FAT” leaving the poor ticket attendant mortified and me feeling displicable all day.

So what should we do in this situation?

Should we apologise, get cross, simply set the record straight? I mean on the whole these people are normally quite well meaning.

However, once I was part of a delegation who went to Melbourne to lobby for a large event to come to the UK. A few months later the team met up for dinner to celebrate the fact we had won the bidding process. One of the key members of the team was missing and a friend mentioned that while out in Australia he had said to her “your friend Julie is obviously pregnant, is it common knowledge”

Well I wasn’t pregnant…and he was just an arse, but it makes me think, do people constantly look at me and think “I wonder if?”

I wrote a blog post last summer about using pregnancy as a way of jumping queues and the like, so maybe I shouldn’t complain. But it seems like this problem is not gonna go away any time soon, no matter how much weight I lose.

Does this happen to anyone else?

  1. July 28, 2014

    Yep. Before my (now nearly 3 year old) kid was born, I looked fat, but he was really long and split my stomach muscles, so now I look permanently around 5-6 months pregnant, and being fat doesn’t help.

    Just this morning, a man leapt up to offer me his seat on the tube. I just said thank you, sat down and pulled my bag over my stomach.

  2. I know exactly what you are talking about.

    After of the last comments like that by a colleague ( might I add she is bigger than me) is what got me blogging. It is so embarassing and if there is a response that works please tell me.

    I had “congrats on your preganancy” / “is it your first one” / “how far along are you” / “is it a boy or a girl” /”oh the maternity section is that side”. For me this is even a more sensitive topic since although I love children I can’t have my own due to my chronic illness.

  3. I learned ( thankfully by watching/listening) to never make a comment to a suspected pregnant woman unless the babies head is actually crowning….
    I have some friends with the similar challenge and most hate it BUT have gotten used to it.

    have fun and enjoy.

    https://twitter.com/martyroddy

  4. March 29, 2014

    Could be worse. On a bus a few months ago a woman asked me if I was ok standing and then went on to have a rant about young people not giving up their seats for the elderly. I’m only 53 for heavens sake and I swear the woman was older than me. Cue me dashing into Boots for some new wrinkle cream!

  5. I remember my first week back at work after baby no.2…I was still carrying the baby-belly fat (and in fact never really lost it!) I bumped into a colleague, who was now working in another department. We had a little chat and he said, ‘ I didn’t know you were expecting another one…congratulations!’…Obviously due to my embarrassed flush, and mumbling something about not being pregnant, just not lost my baby belly, he realised his mistake and was more mortified than I was! I still feel sorry for him.
    If it’s any consolation, when you get to a certain age, there’s no doubt about it being fat and not pregnant….not sure which is worse really!! 😉

  6. March 29, 2014

    Yes it happens to me and I hate it. It’s usually someone offering me a seat – I did accept once because the tube was packed.
    I find it really humiliating. On the other hand I do think people should offer seats to pregnant women-I do myself but only if I’m sure they’re pregnant.

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  1. […] of us do feel like this at times. Then when I got to work this morning I read the newest entry on The Fat Girls guide to running and it made me smile since guess what I’m not the only one that get asked if I’m pregnant and […]

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